


Lost

by Sandylee007



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Depressed Magnus Bane, Emotional Hurt, Engagement, Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Episode: s03e19 Aku Cinta Kamu, Episode: s03e20 City of Glass, Episode: s03e21 Alliance, Getting Back Together, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Post-Episode: s03e22 All Good Things..., Sad Alec Lightwood, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandylee007/pseuds/Sandylee007
Summary: STARTS IMMEDIATELY AFTER 3x18, ONE CHAPTER INSPIRED BY THAT EPISODE AND ONE CHAPTER FOR EVERY EPISODE AFTERWARDS'MISSING SCENES' FROM THE LAST FEW EPISODESMagnus once said that Alec would blow up the very ground he stood on to make something right. Alec does just that, figuratively, to get back Magnus’s magic. What he doesn’t realize is that his now ex-boyfriend shared that ground with him. When the last thing Magnus had left blows up to pieces, he spirals hard and plummets to the darkness filling his mind.But even at the darkest hour... Even when all seems lost... Is there still hope? Is it just possible that true love conquers all?





	1. 3x18

**Author's Note:**

> 3x18 was PAINFUL. And I dread what 3x19 will bring, now that Magnus has NOTHING left. (whimpers) My mind danced around for DAYS before finally settling down enough to produce this.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Please…! If I owned ANYTHING, we'd already have the happy ending Malec and we deserve on hand. (POUTS)
> 
> WARNINGS: DESCRIPTION OF DEEP DEPRESSION, other than that… Nada. Such a short list!
> 
> Awkay… Are you ready? Whether you are or not… Let's go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

/ _"You continue to surprise me."_ /

Alec surprises Magnus yet again, this time in the most terrible way imaginable. And he berates himself over being caught off guard in such a way. No one's ever stayed with him before. Why should the young Shadowhunter have been any different?

Magnus has repelled great many lovers and people he genuinely loved in the past. Because he's always too much, or too little. Yet he hoped, foolishly, that perhaps Alec might be different. Maybe, if he'd try hard enough, he might be able to stop the archer from leaving him, too. But history repeats itself painfully. He's failed again. During the dinner he destroyed the jagged edges of his new, broken self cut Alec harshly enough to make him give up.

Waking up to an empty bed, with no message of love and forgiveness waiting for him, was the first warning. (The dread, disappointment, shame, remorse and abandonment served to intensify the cold that'd been Magnus's constant companion since his magic was torn away. He almost couldn't make himself leave the bed.)

The tension between them when he walked into Alec's office was the second warning. (Magnus wondered briefly which ones of the words he'd heard so many times before Alec would use to end things. He was ridiculously relieved when Jace and Clary showed up so he didn't have to find out yet.)

The third warning was Alec lying (poorly) at his face about a Clave meeting. (Seeing Alec so uncertain of himself, of them, and dishonest… It hurt, because both things echoed the poison darkening Magnus's mind. He was ruining Alec, and it was the one thing he always swore to himself he'd never do.)

Magnus has been through far more than enough nasty breakups to recognize the beginning of one. He doesn't blame Alec. Who could want a pathetic shell of a man who can't even handle a dinner without drinking himself to a state where he poisons everything and everyone around him? But love is selfish. And he can't lose Alec, especially not when he's already lost everything else.

So he goes to help Maryse, like Alec asks him to. ( _See, I can still be useful, worth something._ )

He decides firmly to stop drinking. ( _I can do better._ )

And he's an idiot enough to believe that if he works hard enough, proves himself, he can change Alec's mind.

' _I'm trying, just give me a little more time, please don't give up on me_ ', he wants to beg but doesn't.

It turns out that Alec is sick and tired of waiting for him to adjust and recover. Of watching him drowning into the pitch-black darkness slowly yet steadily consuming his mind. The archer calls it a break but Magnus understands what it really means.

Magnus knows that he should let Alec go. Set him free to find someone actually worthy of the archer's love. Instead he begs the man he loves so much that it hurts to stay.

Yet no matter how much he pleads Alec goes, as anyone with self-preservation instincts would've, and Magnus hates that it surprises him.

When he first lost his magic Alec swore to be there for him, no matter what. When he regained magic, agonizingly briefly, Alec wanted them to build a home together. When Lorenzo's magic was killing him Alec pleaded with him until he chose to live. Just the night before Alec loved him, asked desperately for him to let the Shadowhunter be there for him.

But Magnus slipped up, lost control and destroyed it all by revealing how shattered he was. He lashed out. And pushed Alec so far away that this time they won't be able to find their way back to each other.

This final, most bitter loss is killing him, slowly and painfully, and he has no one but himself to blame for causing it.

Magnus stands in the middle of Maryse's store. With absolutely nothing left. With nowhere to go. And wonders what in the world he's supposed to do now that he's lost everything.

Moving slowly and robotically, he finishes his work. It's his last favor for the Lightwood family. By the time he's done he's so exhausted and pained that all he wants to do is to slump to the floor and never get up. Instead he slips something he no longer deserves to an envelope and writes two short notes. One of them is for Maryse.

' _Thank you, for yesterday. It would've been an honor to truly become a part of your family. I wish you all the best. Can you do me a favor and give Alec that envelope?_ '

Daylight is about to break by the time Magnus walks out of the store. It's so early that the street is practically empty and he freezes, pained, breathless and somehow weary beyond his years. He stands there, feeling more lost than ever in his life. The longing for Alec is so great that he would likely start screaming if he would've had enough strength and breath for that. Any place he can think of to go reminds him too much of the Shadowhunter he lost.

Pain, tearing him to shreds from the inside, is all he has, now.

/

Breaking up with Magnus when the older man would've needed him more than ever before… With Magnus kissing him and begging him to stay … It was the hardest thing Alec has ever done. But he forced himself to go through with it, telling himself that his now ex-boyfriend would be alright and happy soon, move on. For Magnus Alec was more than willing to tear himself to pieces.

He's in more pain than ever in his life. But he has the bond between Clary and Jonathan, as well as a dramatic security breach, to offer a distraction. To keep him from feeling and thinking too much. Somewhere along the way he's almost able to forget about Magnus and how broken the man sounded during their breakup.

/ _"I can't lose you, too."_ / Those words torment him beyond everything else. No matter how firmly he tells himself that Magnus will recover.

All attempts at focusing on other things fall apart when his mom comes to visit him with an envelope that contains the omamori charm and a note.

' _Aku cinta kamu. Not that that changes anything, but I need you to know that. And I'm so sorry that I ruined everything. Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me.'_

Alec imagines that it couldn't possibly get worse. That it couldn't hurt more. Until he receives a message from Catarina.

' _I can't get a hold of Magnus, and I'm getting a little worried. Do you know where he is?_ '


	2. 3x19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finds out that Magnus is more or less missing, and his resolve begins to crack. In the meantime someone does find Magnus...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. I couldn't stop myself from typing another chapter. (chuckles)
> 
> I HAVE AN IDEA OF THIS STORY'S FUTURE. How about a chapter for 3x20 and 3x21/22 as well? Would you like to read those?
> 
> AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL! THANK YOU, so much, for you comments, love and support! If it wasn't for you guys I would've never written this chapter. (HUGS)
> 
> Awkay. (takes a deep breath) Are you ready to go? I'm not sure I am. But let's go, anyway!
> 
> 3x19 mood, here we come!

Telling Jace about the breakup makes it feel so real that holding the stoic mask becomes almost unbearable. Especially with the weight of the omamori charm in Alec's pocket. The message from Catarina refuses to leave his restless mind alone for even a second.

Alec knows that it's a possibly disastrous mistake. But shortly after Jace leaves his office he caves and calls Catarina. She picks up immediately. " _I was just about to call you. Alec, what the hell is going on?_ "

Alec swallows thickly. For a few moments tears blind his eyes, until he blinks them away stubbornly. "Magnus, did he…?" He clears his throat but it doesn't help him sound more like himself. "Did he come there?"

" _No, and I still can't get a hold of him._ " Catarina sounds exhausted, scared, confused and angry. She needs a pause to gather herself before continuing. " _Did something happen?_ "

Alec shudders and braces himself. His eyes sting a second time, and no matter how hard he fights it a lone tear breaks through his emotional barrier. "Magnus and I, we, ah… broke up, yesterday." It's even harder to tell her than it was to tell Jace. This is his ex-boyfriend's best friend and he can't tell her why he had to smash Magnus's heart to pieces. The weight of the secret deal weights mercilessly on his shoulders that have always tried to carry the whole world.

It's impossible to tell which one hurts more. The shocked silence, or the words the come after. " _Please, tell me that you didn't…! Not now, when he's already…!_ " She breathes hard. " _I have to go, now._ " There's new urgency in her tone, downright panic, and it makes the Shadowhunter feel incredibly cold.

Alec's been holding on to his resolve with all his willpower since Magnus pleaded with him to say, even when the pain of his broken heart is so great that he wants to scream. But there, he cracks. Risks giving a hint of his secret, of his true feelings. "Can you… text me, when you find him? Or hear from him?" He sounds too desperate, too agonized – too in love.

But as it turns out he doesn't have to worry about Catarina figuring out something, because she's hung up long before he starts talking.

/

Catarina's heart pounds while she struggles to calm herself, her mind spinning around a million miles per hour. When she couldn't get a hold of Magnus she was worried. Now she's absolutely terrified. She knows that her friend prefers hiding his pain and licking his wounds in solitude. But this… isn't it.

She's seen Magnus after nasty breakups before. (Far too many times, and she's often wondered with dread how many it might take to break him completely. Now, she realizes with chills, she knows.) But none of them have been like this, not even Camille. Because this time Magnus doesn't have his magic. Or his work to throw himself to, to focus his broken heart on before it's been put together yet again. Magnus doesn't even have a home. Or anyone to go to.

Magnus could've come to her, if it wasn't for Madzie. (No one would've been able to force him to be around a child when he was as emotionally unstable as he had to be at the moment.) To her knowledge Raphael is still imprisoned. Ragnor… isn't with them anymore. And the other warlocks aren't an option after the rift Lorenzo tore between them and Magnus. (There's no way Magnus can seek comfort from those he did his best to protect and who turned their backs on him, willingly or not.) And pretty much all the rest of Magnus's friends consist of such people who are far too close to Alec. Magnus doesn't have anything or anyone left. Or so he thinks.

Catarina's eyes flash.

Well, Magnus still has her. So she starts to arrange an emergency babysitter at a frantic pace. And prays to the Angel she's not sure she believes in that she'll find Magnus before it's too late. Before he finds a bridge or something equally disastrous.

/

Alec stands in his office, trembling to the core of his being. He stares at his phone. And wonders, for the first time, if he did the right thing, after all.

Too overwhelmed and sick from worry, he cracks and sends a message of his own to Magnus. ' _Let me know when you're coming to pick up your things. And you can have the charm back, it was always meant to be yours._ ' ( _Just like my heart_ , he thinks miserably, but isn't allowed to add.) He hates how formal and fundamentally wrong the message sounds. Hates that he can't write 'please tell me you're alright, I love you, all I want is for you to be happy' instead.

An hour passes, and there's no reply.

Alec almost breaks down entirely. But then the hectic world with Jace's undercover mission comes calling, and he forces his whole concentration on it. Even when what's left of his heart screams and begs him to run, to find Magnus. Even when he slips his hand into his pocket, squeezes it tenderly around the charm and doesn't seem able to let go.

/

Magnus doesn't get those messages from Catarina and Alec. His phone's battery has died. Forgotten to his pocket in the cold hours of the night.

He wants to walk away from the pain – he can't.

He wants to forget – he isn't allowed to.

The pain in his broken heart consumes him whole. Makes it impossible to think. Strikes down his will, fight and defenses. Scrapes him raw.

So when his father approaches him, with sweet words Magnus knows better than to trust… He gives in. Because there's nothing else keeping him hanging on. Because Asmodeus's untrustworthy arms are the only place he has left to go to. Because the only other time he's ever felt this lonely, abandoned and betrayed was after his mother's death. And his father came to him then, too.

His father's love, if it can be called that, is twisted and toxic, but Magnus begins to realize that it's the only kind of love he deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, dear gosh…! They're in SO MUCH PAIN, especially Magnus. Can their story have a happy ending?
> 
> This chapter was inspired greatly by the fact that it bothered me SO MUCH how no one seemed to put any effort into trying to reach out for Magnus during 3x19. (Well aside Asmodeus…) (At least Alec had his siblings, and a job to do.) I want to believe that someone at least tried to.
> 
> SO, how was the chapter? Any good at all? PLEASE, do let me know! Hearing from you ALWAYS makes my day.
> 
> NEXT UPDATE comes when I've recovered enough from 3x20 to type it. (chuckles nervously)
> 
> Until next time, folks! I REALLY hope that I'll see you all there.
> 
> Take care!


	3. 3x20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finally learns the truth, and it leads to an emotional reunion in Alicante.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT an episode! WHAT a proposal! (sniffles) So sad and beautiful all at once. So of course I had to type this. (chuckles)
> 
> THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for the comments and support you've given this story! It means the world to me. (HUGS)
> 
> Okay… Are you ready relive the feels? Because here we go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

Magnus goes with his father because it isn't like he has anywhere else to go or anything else to do. He's determined to ensure that Asmodeus won't harm anyone. Instead he stands by while Lorenzo is transformed to a chameleon. And wonders if he's become the one thing he's always vowed to not be.

His father's son.

And somehow that isn't the worst part. The mot horrible thing, the part that makes him feel sick… It's that he no longer has enough will and fight to care.

He's in the apartment that's rightfully his, his magic thrumming triumphantly under his skin, and he can't feel anything.

/

There's something Asmodeus failed to foresee while weaving his plan to lure his son back home. It's one of the things Greater Demons aren't able to understand properly. Because it's too pure and honest.

Mother's love.

Asmodeus's father's love is poison. Maryse's mother's love… It's fire.

Maryse looks at her son as he gives away the ring. She sees the sheer anguish he's unable to hide while he blurts out why he smashed two hearts to pieces. And she remembers how he told her just days earlier that he wouldn't be able to live without Magnus. Then she recalls Magnus stating that he didn't know what he'd do without Alec.

Maryse puts the ring that very obviously belongs to someone else into her pocket for safekeeping, and decides to fix whatever was going on.

/

Not much later Magnus stares at the ring and tries to process Maryse's words.

Alec is still in love with him. Wants to marry him. Wants to spend the rest of his life with him.

Alec didn't break his heart because he doesn't love him anymore – but because the Shadowhunter loves him too much.

Magnus has lived for hundreds of years. Over the course of that time he's loved and lost so many, too many. But no one's ever caused him the kind of pain Alec did. Nor has anyone ever loved him as much.

The ensuing emotional storm is so overwhelming in its power that he doesn't know what to do with it. Until he remembers certain chosen words from a ghost. Ragnor always did give the best advice…

/ _"… you must do everything in your power to fight for it …"_ /

It's Asmodeus who gives Magnus the final push he needs. (He'd point out the irony, but doesn't think the Prince of Hell would've appreciated it.) "I will just keep finding my way back to you."

A memory, one of the great many ones he attempted to erase, surfaces immediately. Warm and comforting, like an old friend. The same memory that was breaking him less than a day earlier now relights the spark inside him that'd gone out.

/ _"You and me, we always seem to find our way back to each other."_ /

Sentencing his father to a fate worse than death isn't easy. Magnus fights back tears when the portal closes, sealing Asmodeus to an eternal limbo. He hates himself for mourning a monster who very nearly crushed him to make him fit into the mold his father had planned for him. Foolish sentiment, caused by a bond that was always vile. "Goodbye, father."

/

Catarina's beside herself from worry and fear. Until all of a sudden she gets a message. ' _I'm quite alright. And I need you to help me pick a ring._ '

Catarina wants to do great many things just then. Cry from relief, which she'd never admit out loud. Punch her best friend for scaring her. In the end she starts laughing in a way that makes the people passing by give her weird looks. Once she's composed herself a little she makes a phone call, needing to hear Magnus's voice. "Let me get this straight. He breaks your heart and you plan on proposing?"

" _Technically, he was planning on proposing first._ " Magnus goes on before she can ask further. " _Then he made a deal with my father and had to break my heart to get my magic back. Because it was the only way to make me whole again._ "

Catarina blinks twice. Slowly. Did she hear that right…? "He did what?" she snarls, so loudly that she startles an elderly woman who gives her a filthy look.

" _I know. My thoughts exactly. And we'll have a… long, probably loud talk about it. Later. I mean… He did break my heart. So badly that I almost…_ " Magnus trails off, and she's fairly sure that she's happier not knowing what he would've said. " _But first I want that idiot to know that I want to marry him, too. Even more than I want to yell at him._ "

Catarina's too stunned to react for a moment. Then she starts to laugh hysterically, again, and shakes her head. "You two idiots definitely deserve each other", she scoffs affectionately.

" _I know._ " Magnus's voice is happier than she's ever heard it sound. It elates her and scares her. She knows how far Magnus will go for such love. " _So are you going to help me pick a ring or not?_ "

She can tell that Magnus has had it incredibly rough the second she sees him. But he's also determined, a man on a mission. After fearing that she'd lose him, seeing him like that is so heartwarming that Catarina decides to save pretty much all questions of what happened for later. She also saves for later the chosen words she wants to snarl at him. ('Never scare me like that again!' being on top of that list.)

They're at jewelry store number five when something catches Magnus's attention. The warmth that fills his eyes tells her everything necessary. When he looks at her expectantly and points at a ring, she smiles while tears shimmer in her eyes. "It's perfect." And for a stolen moment it feels like everything's alright in the world.

Until a fire message from Jace reaches Magnus.

' _I know that things are complicated right now. But Jonathan just attacked Alicante. We need you._ '

"By the Angel…!" Catarina gasps.

"This may lead to a disaster." Magnus's eyes flash in a way she recognizes all too well. "Warn all the warlocks of New York. And… anyone else you can."

Catarina folds her arms as she watches him open a portal. "Where are you going?" Like there would've been more than one place in the whole world where he could've imagined heading…

The smile Magnus gives her isn't a happy one. "To save my fiancé. And maybe the world, while I'm at it." He aims to make it sound like a joke but it falls flat.

As Magnus steps through the portal Catarina wonders with mounting horror if she'll ever see him again.

/

"It's okay", Magnus reassures Alec almost as soon as they're reunited. Of course things aren't okay yet, nor is he. But they will be. Because he sees how Alec can barely look at him because it hurts too much. He also hears the fear in the young archer's voice when he sputters that Magnus can't be there with him. Finally he dares to fully believe that Alec does still love him. In that extreme moment with a city crumbling around them that certainty is all he needs.

Their kiss feels like coming home. And Magnus's heart, still aching but already healing, rejoices when life rushes back into it. Alec's lips against his, those familiar hands holding on to him, are so full of affection that it takes his breath away.

Magnus imagined that Asmodeus's kind of love was all he'd ever get anymore. For once in his very long life the warlock is surprised pleasantly. Well, didn't he always say that Alec continues to surprise him?

His brief, stolen moment of joy lasts until he remembers that the city around them is on fire and falling apart. Soon enough it would be completely destroyed. Unless…

Magnus knows what he'll have to do, no matter how much he hates it.

Before he goes he proposes. It's a horrible timing. They're in the middle of a warzone, on the losing side, and he's about to leave, permanently, to save them all. They also only just got back together and have a lot of things they need to talk about. (Insecurities and fears to soothe, broken hearts and trust to mend.) But these are almost definitely their final moments together. He needs Alec to know that his answer would've been 'yes', that it'll always be 'yes'. And where he's headed, he'll need a ring around his finger to keep reminding him of just what is waiting for him on the other side. He also wants, desperately, to prove to Alec how much he wants them to belong to one another officially. Even if they'll never see each other again after this.

It's one of the most bittersweet moments of his whole life, having to leave after only just learning how much he actually has to stay for.

When Alec pleads him to make it back Magnus can only shake his head, unwilling to make promises he won't be able to keep. He looks at the archer, memorizing every little detail. Then gives a briefer look at the friends gathered behind Alec.

Remembering who he's fighting for, to have so much to fight for after losing everything… It gives him the courage to do what has to be done. Just like the previous time he went to Edom he's scared. But he isn't angry or bitter. He's at peace with the price he must pay for their victory, no matter how much it hurts.

He's doing this for the kind of love he didn't imagine he'd ever find and thought he'd lost. And even if he'll be stuck in Edom for the rest of his immortal life… The memory of that love, knowing that his one last sacrifice saved Alec and so many others, will be enough.

If someone who loves him enough to blow up the ground they stand on to save him isn't worth spending an eternity in hell for, he doesn't know what is.

/

Alec can't believe that they're here again.

Just like during the chaos of Jace and the Owl, Magnus is heading to Edom. And although Alec tries his hardest to remain uncharacteristically optimistic, he realizes that Magnus most likely won't make it back. This time there are no screams of pain. His fiancé flies through the portal soundlessly, only leaving behind the echo of his half-hearted joke.

It all hits Alec, there. The unbearable heartbreak over having to break up with Magnus… The joy of realizing that they could be together once more… The excitement over the warlock wanting a lifetime with him as much as he does… And now this new sacrifice, merciless fate tearing Magnus from him all over again…

Alec can't help it, even if there are people watching him. His knees give way while his whole soul screams from the anguish his mouth isn't able to voice. He wants to beg and plead but the words just won't come.

_Magnus, please, come back to me…! I love you, I love you… Please…!_

Very distantly he feels supportive hands on him. All he can really focus on is the sky above them, which explodes with blue before growing dark. The rift closes. The battle ends. Alicante has been saved, by a Downworlder, by a warlock, by someone far too many people there despised and looked down on.

_Please! Please…!_

Kneeling on the floor with tears rolling down his cheeks and feeling his new ring vividly, Alec realizes that the victory cost him his world.

/

On the other side of the rift that can't ever be opened again Magnus closes his eyes while tears roll down his cheeks. And whispers the words he couldn't bring himself to say when he was face to face with Alec. "Goodbye, Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those poor dears…! (sniffles) We know that there'll be a wedding. But that still hurt!
> 
> Sooo… Was that any good, at all? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It always makes my day.
> 
> Until next time! I really hope that you'll all join in for that one.
> 
> Take care!


	4. 3x21 and 3x22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is ready to do anything to bring his world back home. Will it be enough? Will he and Magnus get their happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY that it took me this long! But I'm FINALLY back, ready to wrap this up. Woo-hoo?
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for your comments and support! They mean more to me than words can say. (HUGS) I REALLY hope that this ending meets all your expectations!
> 
> Awkay... Let's go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride.

It's like a nightmare that gets worse and worse. A blink of an eye after getting Magnus back Alec has lost him again. With no way to bring him back in sight. And all of a sudden Izzy has Heavenly Fire in her.

Catarina sums it up the best when he tells her. (Hearing from her that Lorenzo was the chameleon he discovered... It almost makes him smile in the middle of the nightmare.) " _Shit_ ", is all she manages to say.

"Yeah." Alec rubs his face roughly with one hand and wonders where the moisture came from. "Look, I... I know that I'm not your favorite person, after what I did." After shattering Magnus' heart. "But... I'll bring him back home, I swear. And I'll make it up to him." He has no idea how, but he's planning on spending the rest of his life figuring out.

" _I know._ " It sounds like she's close to forgiving him. " _So get to work and save my idiot of a friend._ "

Continuing to work tirelessly is what Alec does. Unfortunately things keep getting worse. Because Lilith is planning on killing Magnus.

Magnus got himself trapped in hell to save them all and was about to die because of it.

Alec begs to be turned into a vampire without hesitation. Magnus became a mortal for him. He's more than willing to make a similar sacrifice. He's ready to do anything, absolutely anything.

Valentine... Iris... Lorenzo's magic... Asmodeus... So many times Magnus has almost been torn from him. Alec isn't going to let Lilith succeed.

Jace finds him after it gets too much and he storms off from the rest of them. Alec can't look at his parabatai, can barely think. He shakes his head fervently. "I can't lose him", is all he manages to produce, his voice breaking several times.

"And you won't." Jace sounds so sure that he has to look. "I thought I'd lost Clary but I got her back. Anything's possible." His brother offers a small smile. "Besides, I see that look on your face. You won't stop until you have Magnus in your arms."

Alec can't help but feel uncharacteristically optimistic, because it's that or having a nervous breakdown.

Jace shifts and discomfort radiates through their bond. "When you asked to be turned... Did you mean it?"

Alec can hear the unvoiced question. Would he seriously consider becoming an immortal? He would've lied saying he wanted it. (At least... he thinks he doesn't.) But for Magnus... He's really, seriously considering it. (Now that he's found someone he loves with all his heart and soul, there are ridiculous moments when he wonders, against all common sense, if never growing old together would be so bad.)

Fortunately he doesn't have the time to mull over those thoughts further on a day that's already overwhelming. They have things to do. "Let's... talk about that later. We have to get Lorenzo." Alec braces himself for the most infuriating diplomatic negotiations he's ever been through.

/

Edom is a lonely, cruel place that creates bitter, cruel and often lonely creatures. While being there enhances Magnus' magic he's drained constantly from how hard he fights against hell's hold. He fights, with every inch of him, against how every second spent there strengthens his demonic side. And it's the most desperate battle he's ever been in, because it feels so hopeless.

Magnus studies, goes through every book he can find. But Asmodeus and Lilith haven't succeeded in finding an unaided way out of Edom in hundreds of years and he can't figure out one in just days. When the pointless search frustrates him and the darkness in him threatens to win, he sits on the throne he hates and plays with the ring Alec gave him.

Perhaps he'll never see his beloved again. But the thought of Alec... Of the way the Shadowhunter looked at him, believed in him and the good in him... It renews his will to fight.

It turns out his demonic side isn't the only thing he'll have to battle against. There's also Lilith, who tries to persuade him with sweet words and attempts to attack him when those don't work. Magnus slams her to the floor and knows all too well that she's only gotten started.

Not much later he's proven right. (As he too often is when assuming the worst.) He looks out the window and sees Lilith gathering demons. And he knows that his time is ticking away quickly. When he's certain that it's over for him he hears an echo of the voice he misses from the bottom of his aching heart. "Magnus!"

/

Alec and his strange little team go to hell. Literally. They bring it down with its evil Queen, and save the son of its Prince. It's like out of some twisted fairytale.

Alec isn't surprised when Magnus opens a portal to the apartment he traded away in a time of despair. It's still the safest place he knows, too, the only place where he managed to fall asleep while his fiancé was... away. He barks out a laugh of disbelief, joy and relief. Until he realizes that Magnus hadn't followed the rest of them.

The panic lasts for less than a minute. But the sheer terror of losing Magnus again... It's so intense that when the warlock stumbles through the portal Alec launches himself at the man and embraces him anxiously. Only their company keeps him from shedding a tear. Or two.

Then Magnus loses consciousness in his arms.

Catarina, who has obviously been eagerly and impatiently waiting for their return, is there in a flash. "He's just exhausted", she announces quickly. "Edom and creating a portal back... They took a lot out of him."

Alec swallows thickly, trying to calm his racing heart. "So... He'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Nothing a little rest won't fix." Catarina gives him a triumphant smile. "You did it. You brought him back, just like you promised you would."

Alec doesn't think he's ever smiled the way he does while kissing Magnus' hair.

He's startled from the euphoria when something is offered to him. Keys. Lorenzo shrugs. "I already have a mansion, so it's not as if I'd need the apartment. Consider it my wedding gift. And a thank you for me no longer having to eat flies."

Alec wonders if it's the first time Lorenzo's ever joked on his own expense, and if he might actually learn to like the arrogant warlock.

Alec knows that he probably needs some rest, too. But sleep evades him as he watches Magnus slumbering soundly. Slowly, testing and savoring the feeling, he wraps his arms around his fiancé and pulls the man close. Thrilled, beyond all belief, that he still gets to do so.

Angel, how very nearly he lost this...!

Sometime after midnight Magnus's eyelashes start to flutter. Soon golden eyes, those he's missed beyond all belief, crack open. "Is this real?" the warlock murmurs.

Alec's heart aches a little while he nods. "Yeah. This is real."

"Good. Then I can finally do this." And suddenly Magnus is kissing him and touching him, in a manner that's very obviously the start of something much more.

Alec's whole body is lit to the best kind of fire and certain parts of him stiffen while his heart beats fast. Still he gives thinking rationally a Herculean effort. "We shouldn't... We need to talk first... You need rest..."

Magnus shakes his head. And suddenly those golden eyes are so vulnerable that it hurts to watch. "I need this more." The 'please' isn't said but he hears it nonetheless.

And all will to resist leaves Alec, because he needs this, too, badly.

The way they make love that night... It's different from before. As tentative as passionate, full of as much shyness as passion. It's two lovers who imagined that they've lost each other forever reconnecting. It's apologies, thank yous, reassurances and promises all rolled into one. Every move they make is one of those words they can't bring themselves to say.

When their passion reaches its peak Alec pins Magnus' wrists against the wall, making their engagement rings click together. The small sound is incredibly triumphant. So is how Magnus cries out his name while arching closer to him.

They got back what they thought was lost, and they're finally back home.

/

Magnus imagines that his shockingly pleasant talk with Lorenzo is enough of a surprise for one early afternoon. But then there's another knock and Maryse walks in. She's smiling, but she seems nervous. "I... came to thank you for the dress. It's lovely."

Magnus smiles back. "I'm glad you like it. I thought that the color suits you." He tilts his head, curious. "Is there... another reason you came?"

Maryse nods slowly. "After everything you've done for Alec... And all of us... I want the whole world to see that as far as I'm concerned, you're a part of my family. So, unless you already have something else planned... I'd love to walk you down the isle."

Magnus remembers feeling like he does after those words only once. When Maryse embraced him and thanked him for loving her boy. He swallows against the lump that's suddenly appeared to his throat. "Maryse..." He finds that he doesn't know what to say.

She takes his hand and squeezes it gently. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to my son." There's nothing but sincerity in her voice. "The love you two share... I can already see it changing the world for the better. And I'd be honored to be a part of that change."

Magnus looks at her, baffled by how much she's changed from the angry, hurting woman and neglected wife who attempted to stop him from interrupting Alec's wedding. He finds himself smiling. "It'd be my honor, too", he states hoarsely, and pulls her to a tight but tender embrace. Once he feels slightly more composed, he continues in an attempt to make the situation a little less emotional. "Now I must make sure that my outfit's colors match with yours."

Maryse chuckles. She sounds suspiciously close to tears while tightening her hold on him. "I love you." She goes on shortly after, some little teasing in her tone. "My boy."

That... wasn't something Magnus would've expected. (It's been so long from when he last felt a mother's love. And it's overwhelming to be so accepted after centuries of prejudice and violence.) He's equally surprised by his instinctive response. "I love you, too."

/

Their wedding... It's perfect. Towards the end Alec feels Magnus nudging at his shoulder to get his attention. The archer looks towards the gestured direction. And chuckles.

Andrew Underhill and Lorenzo are talking in a quiet corner. Looking like to them the rest of the world doesn't exist. There's no misreading the... keen interest in their eyes.

Alec leans his head against Magnus'. And smirks. "How about that."

"Indeed." Magnus sounds both fond and amused. "They remind me of two certain someones."

Those words are rewarded by a kiss.

It takes a while before lack of air becomes an issue, forcing them to break the kiss. Alec licks his lips, eyes only half open when they meet his husband's. (Husband. He decides that it's his favorite word in the world.) "I love you."

Magnus smiles. After all the pain and sorrow that'd come the warlock's way since Lilith's appearance, it feels incredibly good to see him so utterly happy. "I love you, too." The smaller man lifts an eyebrow upon noticing him digging through his pocket. "I was under the impression that we agreed to not give each other gifts."

"This... isn't a new gift. Or even mine. Consider it my 'something old'." Almost bashfully he reveals a familiar omamori charm. "You... forgot this to mom's store. But it's still yours, if you want it."

Magnus accepts the item with the same affection and marvel as the first time. And holds it like it's his greatest treasure. (The same way he holds Alec.) "Always." The warlock then tugs him closer in a manner that's clearly to ensure that he's really there, that their wedding isn't just a wonderful dream. "So, Mr. Lightwood-Bane... Where would you like to go for our honeymoon?"

Alec shrugs. "Anywhere you want to show me." Because Magnus is the one of them who knows all the wonders of the world. He can't wait to get to explore them together. "But first... Let's go home." He wants to go there. Just because they can.

Magnus seems to agree, if the enthusiastic nod is any indication. "Yes. Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that for a well-deserved happy ending? (smiles) I just couldn't resist adding these few scenes.
> 
> SOOOO... Good? Bad? Lukewarm? Worth the wait AT ALL? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It'd mean the world to me.
> 
> And THANK YOU, so much, for sticking with me through this little story! (HUGS) Who knows. Maybe I'll see you guys again?
> 
> Take care!

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man… Poor Magnus! Alec, too, of course, but… Oh man…! What has Magnus done?!
> 
> Soooo… Thoughts? Comments? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! Comments ALWAYS make my day.
> 
> THANK YOU, so much, for reading! You never know. Maybe I'll see you again one day?
> 
> Take care!


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